For most of my life, I equated love as something to be earned based on my achievements. I learned very early on how to embody perfectionism and to control my environments, holding high and unrelenting standards for myself and others. I was constantly striving to exceed everyone’s expectations, all while struggling with comparison, fear, and self-doubt.

I was creating the life I thought I wanted… and yet there was a void. I felt disconnected, unsettled, and unfulfilled. So I began the journey of tending to my inner-work.

And something deeply transformative happened when I gave myself a little bit of space and time. When I quieted down ALL of the external static long enough... to listen WITHIN.

I began to recognize that I had deep-seated fears of rejection, of being viewed as not good enough, and the rug being pulled out from under me. My liberation from this narrative wasn't an easy path. But it was necessary for my empowerment.

Through years of therapy I was able to see my maladaptive stories and behaviors for what they were. I also began to understand the theory that "all behavior makes sense". But there were still blocks there. I was still stuck in my own loops and patterns. The conceptual understanding of my lived experiences wasn't enough. I needed to shift on a deeper level.



 

my story