Last week, I read the poem “Ancestors Never Sleep” in a book by Alice Walker.  It was in the midst of hearing bad news upon bad news.  Many of our dear friends are in the depths of suffering and hardships.  Of deep pain.

Much of the world feels the same.

I have been holding a lot of light and dark simultaneously.  

The world around me feels heavy and sad.  And I am also deeply happy.

How can these both be true at the same time?  How have I built the capacity to hold all of this in unison?  

In the past year, I have entered a realm where I am acknowledging that many truths can exist together.  That there is in fact room and space for all of it.  That absolutes are a fallacy.  

I am deeply happy with and proud of my relationships.  With the energy and connection that I have put into my marriage, to my privileged role as a mother, to my relationships with my sister and parents.

I am deeply happy with and proud of the intentionality, love, and vulnerability that I have put into my friendships.   

I am deeply happy with and proud of the sacred space I co-create with my clients.

I am understanding more and more that we are here on this beautiful planet to do two things: Expand and Connect.

And I am deeply proud of the sacred connections, expansions, and spaces I am creating and have the honor to be a part of.

I am writing all of this, I suppose, to say once more that it all belongs.  We can hold deep sadness and also be at peace.  We can feel suffering and joy.  That the reason our grief is so strong… is because it is in direct relationship with our love.

I remember understanding this last statement very deeply when my grandmother passed years ago.  “This is a privilege.  This is a privilege to love someone so much that the loss feels unbearable,” I remember thinking. 

Our journeys are not linear.  Our realities and experiences are made of spirals and fractals upon each other.

I honestly don’t know why I am sharing all of this with you now, beyond the truth that I received the intuitive nudge to do so.  So here we are.  Together.  Allowing it all to belong.  Allowing it all to be true.  

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Ancestors Never Sleep

[Alice Walker]

Ancestors never sleep

and always seem to know

what they’re doing.

How is this possible?

I ask myself.

Sometimes I am weary

enough to expire–

what a relief

I will think. No more obsessing

about this madness;

whatever it might be

this year, or even this century.

But ancestors merely

yawn

and send me off

for a nap.

Not only is life not over,

they sniff,

it has barely begun for you.

There are eternities

waiting just beyond

the next bad movie

you fear you’ll be starring in.

Go to sleep. Rest your brain.

Rest your heart. Rest your eyes

and all your thoughts.

We have been with you

from the beginning

which didn’t exist

and we will be with you

until that moment of

nonexistence

swings around again.

You are attempting to carry

the suffering

all around you

but your back is bending.

Let us bear it for you.

Knowing as we do

that it is only

a difficult turn

on a never ending

journey

of dissolving

and becoming

and dissolving

again

and becoming

once more;

forever & ever

on

and

on.

Save despair,

our beloved

sweetcakes,

for a couple of eons

later. 

xo